The Terrors of Gondor and The Mark
by Authoressinhiding
Summary: Complete If the King of Gondor and Arnor had cat allergies, and a cat ended up on his throne, what would be the result? Trouble. Heaps and Heaps of it.
1. The First Attack

Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or any of its characters. I just took some out for a spin and will try to return them. I'm not sure because Legolas is just sooo cute.

"Eldarion!"

_Uh-oh, _he thought. With the speed of a startled deer, the prince was off. He slipped into the library. No one would find him in the secret chamber. Eldarion hid there.

"Hello, prince." Darn it! He had forgotten that Faramir was visiting. The steward uncannily always seemed to know where he hid. Then again, Faramir had grown up in the citadel. He knew all the good hiding spots.

"Your father wants to see you," said Faramir softly. "Won't you come out?"

"Must I?" moaned Eldarion.

"Yes, you must."

It was the sad truth that the king of Gondor and Arnor had cat allergies. Extremely bad cat allergies. And today, someone had put a cat on his throne. Aragorn hadn't known. He sat on it.

First, he yelled for his son. Next, he began to curse softly in Quenya. Arwen blanched.

"Do you have to?" she asked. Turning to a guard, she said, "Go get the lady Eowyn. Bring some members of the guard when you return."

"Yes, lady," he said.

Aragorn was now rolling on the floor. His face was covered in red hives the size of the bowl of his pipe. The offending cat in question, a scraggly gray tom, sat calmly on the top of his throne. He now licked his paws.

In came a handful of guards and Eowyn.

"What's wrong, Arwen?" asked the latter, stepping over Aragorn as if he didn't exist.

"Aragorn sat on a cat," she sighed. "Take him to the Houses of Healing," she directed the guards. Aragorn's hives were now as large as the cat's head. He was also bleeding heavily from where the cat had scratched him. The tom watched uninterestedly as the guards lifted the king and bore him away.

Eowyn went to the cat and picked it up.

"How exactly did he sit on this?" she asked, indicating the cat.

"Somehow, someone put it on his seat," replied Arwen.

" Hm hm Eldarion hm hm," coughed Eowyn. The prince's habit of practical jokes was well known to all. Eldarion couldn't have chosen a worse time to activate his dad's allergies. King Eomer, his wife, their son, and part of his court were here. So was Prince Imrahil.

"Your Majesty," called a soft voice. It belonged to Faramir. He came into the throne room propelling the prince in front of him. Eldarion wore an ashamed look on his face. "Here he is."

"Eldarion, do you have any idea how much trouble you're in?" asked his mother.

Faramir gestured to Eowyn, and they left. Eowyn still carried the cat.

"How is Aragorn?" he asked once they were out of earshot.

"He had hives the size of Helm's" she gestured to the cat," head by the end. I hope he'll be all right.

"He will. Why name the tom Helm?"

"He has a sense of perseverance and warfare. I doubt he will ever give up."

"True. Where is your brother?"

"In Ithilien. Legolas is showing him the elven dwellings."

"Aaah. And Elfwine?"

"In his rooms. He was confined to them by Aragorn yesterday for 'trying to kill people by dropping stones onto their heads from the tower of Ecthelion'."

"Oh. Why doesn't that surprise me?" said Faramir wryly.

"Faramir! How could you?"

"With ease. Your nephew is a terror."

"Eldarion's just as bad."

"Good point."

At that moment, Arwen appeared, pushing her son before her.

"Faramir?"

"Yes, lady?"

"Take Eldarion to his rooms, if you will. Eowyn, come with me. I must see how my husband is doing. Give the prince the cat. Oh, and Faramir?"

"Yes?"

"No nonsense, please."

"Yes, Evenstar." Eldarion took the cat, and Faramir grasped his arm firmly. He gently pulled Eldarion down the hall.

"Why?" Faramir asked simply. "Why?"

"Dunno," muttered the prince.

"You ought to. What came into your head?"

"It was Elfwine's idea. He thought it would be funny, so, I did it."

"You listened to Elfwine?"

"Mmmhm," murmured Eldarion. "He's my friend."

"Yes, well, he has gotten you into trouble," said Faramir calmly.

"He always gets me out of it," replied the prince unconcernedly.

Faramir locked Eldarion in his room.

"I'll come get you later. Now, you are disgraced. Farewell."

"Namarie," waved the prince mournfully. "Don't leave me here too long. Bring me some cat food, if you can."

The steward smiled, shut the door, and left. It was time to confront the impish Elfwine. He hoped he could do it.


	2. Talk and Trouble

Lindahoyland – Thanks for the advice. I'll try to. Aragorn's hives were just too big, and Helm had scratched him all over. He was out of action. Incidentally, Helm is kinda based on my own cat. I woke up one morning to find him kneading my head. I'm just trying to be funny here.

**Grumpy- Yeah, but he still does. The two together are a menace.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR or anything you recognize. Sorry that this chappie's so short.**

Arwen sighed and commenced wiping her husband's head with a wet rag. As he lay in a fitful slumber, she turned to Eowyn.

"I do wish he did not have such bad allergies. I like cats. Although, I do wish Eldarion had chosen someone else's chair. Lord Gimli of the Glittering Caves is coming. He will be here tomorrow! King Eomer is returning as well, and Legolas may ride with him. His friends may come. That is a lot of guests. And now, Aragorn has hives and infected cat scratches. Blast!"

Eowyn raised one eyebrow at such strong expressions from the daughter of Elrond, but she let it pass.

"We'll manage, Arwen. You ought to relax. Aragorn will be fine. He just needs some rest."

Feeling slightly annoyed with Eowyn for being so calm, Arwen continued to drench Aragorn's forehead.

Whack! She drew back, feeling her cut lip.

"Ouch," Arwen moaned. Aragorn rolled over. He dreamt of uncomfortable things. Arwen had seemed to him an evil orc. In his dream, he had killed the orc. In real life, he had whacked his wife.

Eowyn pulled Arwen to her feet.

"Let me see it," she commanded. Arwen withdrew her had. Quickly, Eowyn pressed a handkerchief to the bleeding lip. "Hold it there."

The two women left the Houses of Healing and walked back to the citadel. Until dark they planned the meals for the next day.

"It will be a busy day tomorrow,' sighed Arwen, "but I think we can handle it. 'Til tomorrow morn, Eowyn. Thank you for all your help."

"Good bye, Arwen. Good night." The White Lady of Rohan strode inside, leaving Arwen looking up at the stars.

Gingerly, Eowyn got into the bed. Would it break? It looked very frail and creaked once all her weight was on it.

With a cavernous yawn, Faramir followed her. Except he back up to the wall, ran, and jumped on the rickety bed. It felt like an earthquake. He settled himself, ignoring Eowyn's look of frustration.

"Boromir and I used to do this all the time. Mother, and, later, the servants were so annoyed. It was fun, though," Faramir said cheerfully.

"I can see their point of views," Eowyn said through gritted teeth.

He laughed, "You would. Poor Eldarion."

"Huh?"

"He's confined to his rooms until tomorrow even, at least. It was Elfwine's idea. The cat on Aragorn's chair."

"That minx!" she exclaimed. "That – " She could think of no name awful enough. Eowyn continued, "When Eomer gets back, he will be dead. I'm thinking of a huge punishment."

"Most likely," replied Faramir. "How's Arwen?"

"Worried about Aragorn and tomorrow. The guests."

"Aah. I'm the steward."

"Yes, dear, but she's the queen.'

"True. I am exhausted."

"We've both had a long day. I am tired," yawned Eowyn.

"I hope Eldarion's managing with that cat. What's his name, Eowyn?"

"Helm, Faramir."

"Right."

At that moment, Aragorn awoke. He remembered exactly what had happened.

"ELDARION!" he roared.

In the citadel, his son sat up in bed, sweating.


	3. Legolas and a Mess

Disclaimer: I do not own Aragorn, Arwen, Eowyn, Faramir, Legolas, or anything else you recognize in this story.

**Siofra22- define questy.**

Gods Geek- I'm so glad you like my humble stories. :p 

Humming in Elvish under his breath, Legolas Greenleaf galloped across the fields of the Pellennor. Ahead of him rode Eomer, his wife, and the king's guard. Behind him came several other elves.

Legolas's steed was Arod, the same horse he had ridden in the War of the Ring. The small equine had refused to leave Legolas. Legolas smiled. He would see Gimli today!

"Norolim, Arod, norolim!" The stallion ran onward. His legs blurred as the grass waved like a flame before his feet.

The Elves – and men – thundered into the city. This day was no day of haughty elegance; their lord was eager to reach his destination. Wind streamed through Legolas's golden hair. A green fire burned in his eyes. Speedily, the elves overtook Eomer's men. They raced on faster still. Now it was a true race. Elf against Elf trying to discover whose mount was swifter or bore greater love for its rider. In front of all, however, flew Arod, mane and tail streaming like banners behind him. The former whipped Legolas's face as he clung to the horse's back. On and on, through the circles of the city, they sped. They only halted upon reaching the courtyard with the White Tree. With obvious ease, the Elves dismounted. Legolas led them into the citadel.

"You came, Legolas!" cried Arwen. She gestured to a soldier. He came. "Show these fine elves their lodgings. I have things to discuss with Legolas."

The man bowed. "If you will follow me?" he said. Legolas nodded to his people, and they did.

"Aragorn is indisposed currently," said Arwen.

"Oh?"

"Eldarion," she let out a behemoth sigh, "put a cat on his throne. He sat on it. Infected scratches. And he's allergic."

"Oh, no."

"Oh yes!"

"How is he?"

"Aragorn will recover. Eldarion, well, you'll see. He – Aragorn – awoke and roared for Eldarion."

"Where is Eldarion now?"

"In his rooms," she replied.

"May I see him?"

"Since it's you, I think it would be all right. Follow me."

"Eldarion? Please open the door."

"Legolas, is that you?" called a small voice.

"Yes."

The door creaked open, and the prince peeked out.

"Come in," he said softly. Legolas noticed how disheveled he looked. The elf entered the room. It was sparsely furnished. A sword, bow, quiver, and hunting knife lay on the floor. Legolas stepped over them carefully. He sat on the unmade bed. Eldarion busily tried to tidy his room up. Although Legolas had just raised one eyebrow at the sight of the mess, the prince acted as if he'd been yelled at.

"Why, Eldarion/" the elf said softly.

"My friend said to. I didn't mean for Dad to get sick. Please don't scold me. Mother's already done that. Elfwine can't get into trouble, though it was his idea, until Father recovers or King Eomer returns," the boy began to sob, "and I'm in big trouble. No leaving the city for a month and no leaving my room until the feast tonight. And then, I have to stay with you, Faramir, Eowyn, the King Eomer, or Gimli. I can't stray out of sight!" he dissolved into sorrowful tears.

"Is that so bad, being with me for the entire evening?" joked Legolas.

"Well, no, but the rest is."

"Aaah. Have you apologized to your father?"

"Yes. He isn't as angry anymore. Just annoyed. He said I should be sent away for a while. To Ithilien, the Glittering Caves, Rohan, the Shire, anywhere but here. Mom said no and grounded me."

"I would take you, Eldarion. If you could keep your practical jokes to yourself."

"I could!" exclaimed the prince. "Will you ask Father?"

"Maybe," he replied elusively. "Now, I must go." Legolas rose and left, leaving a cheered-up boy behind. Guessing that Aragorn would be in the Houses of Healing, her ran to them.

"Is the lord Aragorn here?" he asked.

"Yes, sir," replied the woman at the door. Legolas went in. Soon, he found Aragorn.

"Elfstone, are you in working condition?" Aragorn's hives were now the size of Legolas's thumbnail. "Oh, dear. You are not perfectly well, I see."

"No," said Aragorn. "I hate cats! Hate them! Hate them! Hate them! HATE THEM!…."

The tirade went on and on. Legolas endured it for a while, then held up his hand.

"It is Eldarion's doing?"

"Yes. Elfwine is no help. I love my son, but I do wish he would travel. Could you take him? Foster him for a while?"

"Ithilien isn't that far."

"No, Legolas Greenleaf, but it's far enough."

"Good point. Yes, if Arwen agrees, when I return to Ithilien, he shall come with me to my people's dwellings."

"That relieves me. I worry for him, in this stone city. It is nothing like Rivendell. I hope Arwen agrees, too. If she doesn't, you have my blessing."

Legolas laughed, a heart-felt sound that comforted his friend. "I hope it will not come to that. Namarie, Elfstone."

"Namarie, Greenleaf."

"It is Legolas!" shouted the elf. He ran along the streets to where his folk were housed.

Elfwine was in disgrace.

"You what?" shouted Eomer. "Dropped stones onto people's heads from the tower! I am ashamed. I am going to talk to Aragorn. We leave tomorrow."

"Now you've done it," said Elfwine's sister as Eomer stormed off.


	4. The Second Attack and A New Prank part 1

**Gods Geek - gosh, Ok, ok, I'm updating.**

**Grumpy – Middle-earth doesn't have antihistamines. Not a chance**

**Siofra22 – I'm so honored with your praise.**

**Disclaimer: I do not own LOTR. Thank you.**

At two o'clock in the afternoon, King Elessar came back to the citadel. Helm, who was loose, found him.

"Someone… Achoo! Get this Achoo! Blasted cat Achoo! Out of my city Achoo! Achoo!" the king of Gondor and Arnor bellowed. He fell over and started sneezing convulsively. His hives flared scarlet and began to grow. Helm licked his paw and came over to Aragorn. Purring slightly, he began to knead Aragorn's legs. The king was out cold in five minutes.

When Faramir found him, the cat was curled up on Aragorn's back. The hives were once more the size of Helm's head.

Just then, a dwarf strode in to the room. It was Gimli.

"Aragorn? What's wrong?"

"He has extremely bad cat allergies," said Faramir, gesturing to the cat.

"Mriaow," said Helm.

"Shut you trap," murmured the king. He was beginning to wake up.

"Mraar!" exclaimed the cat.

"I do not care. Shut it."

Helm hissed vehemently at Aragorn. He began to knead his claws again. Aragorn went out of it.

Hearing Gimli's voice, in came Legolas.

"Elbereth," he breathed. "What, in the names of all the Valar, happened?"

"Helm," said Faramir. Legolas crossed the room and scooped up the gray cat. Helm purred.

"Back to the House of Healing?" asked the elf.

"Yep. Give Gimli the cat. And lift!"

"But I hate cats," moaned Gimli.

"Are you allergic?"

"No."

'Then carry the beast!" Faramir was annoyed. Legolas put the cat on Gimli's head. Faramir picked up Aragorn's legs, and the elf got his head. Slowly, they took him back to the Houses of Healing. Helm leapt away from the dwarf and jumped to Legolas's shoulder.

"Miaow," he whined.

"Oh, really? Why did you do it?"

"I wanted to," replied the tom in Cat. "I had a good reason. He looked nice."

"Did the fact you gave him head-sized hives mean anything to you, cat?" Legolas asked in Cat.

"Not really, no. Did it matter?"

"Yes!"

"Gosh, I am sorry," Helm whined in an apologetic tone.

"Tell Aragorn that."

"I tried. He yelled."

"You are so smart," said Legolas. He was extremely sarcastic.

"I know." All sarcasm escaped the tom. "Er, can I come with you?"

"If you must, Helm."

Faramir and Gimli watched with interest. This unconventional conversation was amusing, too.

Legolas looked up. "Sorry," he said in the Westron. "I forgot myself. He is an interesting cat." He flashed a glance at Helm. The tom ignored him.

Faramir burst out laughing at the sheepish look on the elf's face. Gimli smiled. It is a fact that Elves are not meant to look sheepish.

Legolas quickly changed his features in what Gimli called the "aristocratic, authoritative elf look".

"What's so funny?" he asked.

They didn't answer. They couldn't. The man and the dwarf were laughing too hard.

"You can talk to cats?" asked Faramir at last. He had recovered from his giggles.

"Yes. I am an elf," replied Legolas rather stiffly.

The party went well. People ate and talked. Some danced to the piping of flutes. The elves were very merry; Aragorn had some fine wine.

Eldarion and Elfwine managed to slip away. The two boys tiptoed down the halls until they reached Faramir and Eowyn's rooms. They loosened the screws that held the bed together. When Elfwine and Eldarion finished, they raced away and returned to the party.

**Guys, I know this is short and the next chapter will be too. Please forgive me. The next chapter will be the last. I hope you enjoy and review!**


	5. A New Prank part 2 and Going Away

**Grumpy – That is a good idea, but not in my story.**

**Sarahbarr17 – I am so glad you think it's hilarious**

**Disclaimer: I do not own anything written by Tolkien, even though I use most of it shamelessly.**

Later that evening, Faramir got ready to jump onto the bed. He thought it such fun that he jumped often onto it. He ran and leapt - but lo! The bed crashed down. Faramir shrieked in surprise.

Eowyn, who had been elsewhere, came rushing in.

"Faramir!" she cried and ran to him. He moaned in pain. Eowyn checked him for hurt. OH NO! His arm was broken. She called for guards. They came and lifted the steward. At her orders, he was born to the Houses of Healing.

Aragorn sat up as he heard the steps of me.

"Who is it?" the King of Gondor and Arnor called aloud.

Eowyn came in.

"Faramir broke his arm. His bed broke and came crashing down. These," she handed the king two cloak pins, "were found there."

Aragorn looked at them closely, then frowned. He knew these.

"Send someone for Legolas, Gimli, and Eomer. I need to talk to them," Aragorn ordered. His hives were almost gone, though it had been but 6 hours since his last allergy attack. Aragorn was working up an immune system to cats.

Soon, they came.

"Why did you call us, friend?"

"Our sons, Eomer, our sons. They need dealing with."

"Oh."

"It is my belief that they have caused a situation. In which situation Faramir, steward of Gondor, has broken his arm. What shall we do?"

"Send them away," said Eomer. "Who will take them?"

"I will take on," said Gimli.

"And I the other," said Legolas. He sighed, "I can leave in half an hour. Gimli, will you come?"

"Yes. Someone needs to get the boys. Have them pack several clothes. I will go ready my people," Gimli said.

"I will go," replied Eomer.

Then they all left Aragorn to his own dark thoughts. Legolas went to his people, Gimli to the dwarves, and Eomer to find the boys.

It took a while, but, at last, they were ready. Legolas rode out upon Arod, with Gimli by his side. They rode slowly, for the small, sturdy ponies of the dwarves could not match pace with the elves' swift, tireless mounts. On either side of Legolas and Gimli rode two elves. Before them, hands bound and faces covered, sat Eldarion and Elfwine, held on by the elves' arms. The boys' mothers stood and watched the host of elves and dwarves as it crossed the Pelennor. As it reached the Rammas, they turned and entered the citadel.

**Well, this is the end. If anyone would like to hear more about the "Terrors" please tell me in a review. I will do my best to write another story about them. I already have a few ideas. So, if you want more, tell me. Otherwise, the sequel may never come. Thanks to all my reviewers and everyone else who read this crazy story.**


	6. Author's Note

This is just an author's note of an update. The sequel, "Ithilien Under Terror", is up, so if you'd like to continue on with the boys, go read it!

**Thanks,**

**Authoressinhiding**


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